Memorable Quote

A couple of weeks ago, Seth made a comment on the way home from school that he was very hungry. I told him to tell Mom when he got home that he was so hungry he could eat a horse. “Why?” he asked. I told him that she would think it was funny. We got home and he didn't say it.

So this weekend, we are coming home from Taekwando and he says... “I'm so tired I could sleep on a horse.”

Believe... That you're always on my mind. Believe... That you got here just in time.

Dear Seth,

I am here for you. Your mother is too. I know it can be hard and we will help in any way we can. Do not doubt our commitment, love and support for you as you figure out who you are and what your place is in this world. You are a deep and fascinating child at the ripe old age of five. You seem to be wrestling with emotions and impulses that may be too challenging for a five year-old. I hope that you will lean on us. We are never going to turn our backs. You simply mean too much to us.

I see the potential in you that I hope you will soon see in yourself. It hurts me to see you struggle at such a young age. This will pass, that much I know. You are a special, special young man. Never lose sight of your true believers, the ones who will brave any storm with you.

I love you.
Dad

Headline from "Believe" by Quietdrive, 2008

I'm your ice cream man, stop me when I'm passin' by

We had just gotten back into the car after a trip to a new place called Culver's for ice cream. Big boy...as you sat there playing your DS, your little brother reached for your just-out-of-reach chocolate malt, making his familiar grunting sound and looking at you full of hope in his big brown eyes.

Without looking up from your game you spoke. “That's a problem. You're not getting mine, dude.”

Classic.

Headline from "Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen, 1978

Looking for some truth, dancing with no shoes... The beat, the rhythm, the blues... The pounding of your heart's drum together with another one

Your dad saw yesterday just how important it is to live every moment of your life because you never know when it will all be taken away from you. We get one shot. One. I know from personal experience that is easy to bogged down in the mire and forget what is truly important. It's something I work hard to change about myself but without excuses, it's something I've had ingrained in me for a very long time and I have found it difficult to break free from.

I want you boys to live a life of intention. Be calculated and have a plan...but also allow spontaneity to let you live life to the fullest. We're here for a relatively short time and it would be awful to look back on a life full of regrets. I know I don't want to do it and most certainly want a fuller life for the two of you than I have had.

Living a life of intention is a concept everyone would admit that they want but few go about creating. Be one of the few, not the many. It's too easy to become lax about living one's life. Don't do it. Be extraordinary. Never let that heart stop beating.

Certain images will stay with you for your whole lives. I have a sad one from yesterday. I also can say with complete honesty that my two boys looked as beautiful to me yesterday as they ever have before.

Headline from "Sweet Old World" by Lucinda Williams, 1992

Not zuchinni, fettucini or bulghar wheat, But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat

There are few things more rewarding than the taste of the perfect burger. As ubiquitous as the burger is...when done right...it is life changing. For me, my burger holy grail is In-N-Out Burger and it is a crime that Texas is unrepresented by this establishment of goodness. There is something about a Double Double with cheese, ketchup and grilled onions that is fast-food nirvana. A couple of months ago you guys had the privilege of having your very first taste of In-N-Out on our trip to San Diego. Although you guys liked it, you probably didn't understand the magnitude of the experience you were taking part in. I think Sage threw his on the floor. What else is new. Don't worry, I memorialized the whole thing in pictures. We may use them on our Christmas cards this year.

So today I decided to give a new place a try that has gotten all kinds of rave reviews. We just had a Smashburger open near us and after a failed first attempt with you guys on their opening weekend, today was the day. I ordered my 1/2 lb. Create-Your-Own Smashburger with pepper jack cheese, lettuce, ketchup, grilled onions... and a fried egg. What's that? Yes, a fried egg. It's on the menu, so how bad can it be? My quest in life from here on out will be to get your mother to eat one. Based on her aversion (terrified panic and revulsion) to any of her food touching, I'm betting she's not going to let a fried egg within 3 feet of her burger. Call it a hunch.

So how was it? Ehh. First off, a burger should not be scalding hot. My tongue is now horribly disfigured from the 450 degree squirt of grease that shot onto it with my first bite. They call these things Smashburgers because they aren't all perfectly rounded like a normal burger. They are, well, smashed. Kinda flat and malformed. Not unlike some of the girls I dated in high school. Now I like a juicy burger as much as the next guy but this thing was dripping. So much so that the bun literally disintegrated into a sloppy pile of mush. The fried egg tasted good on it but didn't seem to affect the flavor of the burger as much as I thought it would. I guess I just expected to go “Wow, that's the best fried egg burger I ever ate!!” I think if I didn't know there was a fried egg on it I wouldn't have noticed. Or at least that's the statement I'm going with to try to trick your Mom into eating one. The Smashfries did rock however. Made with olive oil and rosemary, they were um-um-good. The place was crowded, even for a rainy Friday afternoon. I don't know if it's the reputation or the urban legend of the place that drew the crowd. I'd go back but it was not the WOW experience I had hoped for. Winner and still champion... In-N-Out Burger remains my cheeseburger in paradise. Good God almighty, which way do I steer...


Headline from "Cheeseburger in Paradise" by Jimmy Buffett, 1978

One Week in the Books

Big Boy-

What a great first week of school! You were a little tentative on Monday morning but by Tuesday you were an old pro at this Kindergarten thing. “Do you want me to walk you to your class?” asked your Mom. “No, you can drop me off here,” you replied. You are growing up so fast.

I'm so proud of you. Your new teacher says you are doing great and a pleasure to have in her class. Attaboy!

Keep it up kiddo. Big smile from Daddy.

I'll be there when you get in a rut, that's the beauty of livin' my life. Hold on baby, I'm taking you back to school.

Tomorrow you start kindergarten big boy. Wow... I can't believe this day is here already. I am so amazingly proud of you and I just know you are going to shine like the star that you are. Sure I'm biased, you're my son after all, but I sense a difference in you from other kids your age. A wisdom so far beyond your years. Continue to cultivate that and you'll write your own ticket in this world.

Study hard, dare to ask “why?”, and never, never accept the world the way someone else tells you it should be. You can have it all.

I love you boy. Knuckles.
-Daddy

Headline from "Back to School" by Jude Cole, 1986

Random Awesome Moment

Both boys absolutely rocking in the backseat to the Aquabats' “Martian Girl”. Seth singing along to every word and nailing the “Whoa-oh-oh-oh-ohs”. Epic.

The king of all of the world

Seth's Spanish class was choosing each kid's Spanish name last week. Seth was advised that since his name started with the letter “Esse” that he should pick a name that starts with that. His response?

“I'll take Esse.”

He's Esse.

Headline from "King of All of the World" by Old 97's, 2001

Random Awesome Moment

”Life is good, Daddy.”
-Direct quote from my almost five-year old while lying in bed with me

Random Awesome Moment

Teaching the Boy that the proper way to pronounce “Kiss” is ”KISS!!!!“ and then me singing “Christine” with him shouting back “Sixteen!” You asked for the best and you got the best...

Never doubt that you’re the one, And you can have your dreams!

Seth,

You got your third stripe at Taekwondo last night. Congratulations big boy! You were awesome. You really seem to be focused the last couple of weeks and your instructor has noticed. Next week is testing for your Tiger Patch. We'll do some practicing this weekend to get you ready and your Mom is going to take you to an extra class on Monday to get some last minute prep in.

I am so proud of you. Keep up the good work. No mercy.

Headline from "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito, 1984

Random Awesome Moment

Driving home yesterday with you boys in the backseat rocking out and yelling to the Alkaline Trio song blaring on the radio. Now that...is punk rock.

To be loved, to be loved, what more could you ask for?

Late night conversations with the Boy...

Boy: “Why are Papa and Mema apart?”
Me: “Well, they decided they didn't want to live together and just wanted to be friends. So now Papa ia married to Nana.“
Boy: ”Who is Mema married to now?“
Me: ”Mema is not married to anyone. She never got remarried.“
Boy: Well, that's sad.”

After a short pause...

Boy: ”Are you going to marry Mema?“
Me: ”No. Mema is my Mommy. I'm married to your Mommy.“
Boy: ”What kind of a girl am I going to find?“
Me: ”You will find a great girl that loves you and that you can love.“
Boy: ”Where did you find Mommy?“

Oooof. How do you explain speed dating to a four-year-old? Well Boy, I guess it's kinda like musical chairs.

Headline from "About a Girl" by The Academy Is..., 2008

Look at me with starry eyes, push me up to starry skies, there's stardust in my head, pure and simple everytime

To my youngest, you continue to inspire me daily. Your smile not only lights up a room...it electrifies it. Can an eight-month old have charisma? Cuz you seem to have it in spades. People flock to you and your energy. I dunno, maybe I'm just the proud Dad who thinks his kids are better than everyone else's. It's only because you guys are.

You're crawling now. You started a couple of weeks ago and you're loving your newfound mobility. I love watching you explore the world around you and discover things for the first time. You get a look of concentration and intention on your face that I can't turn away from. The bond you have developed with your mother is worth everything to me. You look so safe in her arms. She looks every bit as safe as well.

I am so lucky to have two beautiful boys with the world waiting for them. I hope the world is ready because I see you guys making quite an impression on it.

Thank you for the joy you provide me every time you flash those four pearly whites. I adore you.

Love, Dad

Headline from "Pure" by The Lightning Seeds, 1990

We are everyday angels, Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way

I'm lying in bed with you the other night Seth. I've been battling a middle ear infection and it's really been taking a toll on me. As we lay there you said to me “I'm sorry you're not feeling well.” After a pause you looked at me and said “I'll always be there for you and the family.”

Where does such sensitivity come from within a four year-old? Seth... you have the makings of an incredible human being. Sensitivity and awareness are such rare qualities. You excel in both at such a young age. I have such dreams for you. I see you achieving anything you set your mind to. You have a determination and a drive that few do. Harness your strengths, focus on the end goal, work hard and you'll be one of those rare people that others admire.

“I'll always be there for you and the family.” Man, oh man.

Headline from "I'm Sensitive" by Jewel, 1995

I'll teach you all the things you never knew... you're going back, back to school

I am officially in awe of my four year-old. I'll set the scene. We're having dinner last night and as brothers do... Seth called his brother a name. A trapezoid, actually. His mother speaks up for his wordless brother and calls Seth a rhombus. A discussion ensues between the four-year old and the NASA employee about what a rhombus is. “It's a diamond” says Seth. “No, its a kind of a skewed square” his mother retorts. I shut up, not really knowing what a rhombus is. Anyways... the debate goes on until Seth breaks into song. ”Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.“ OK, normalcy prevails... the four year-old is acting like a four year-old. Not quite. “Up above the world so high,” he sings, “Like a RHOMBUS in the sky.” He uses the right inflection on the word for emphasis and stares directly at his mother to make his point. Holy crap. Oh no you di-int!! Did I actually just witness this?

His über-competitive mother takes that as the gauntlet being thrown down and grabs her iPhone to Wikipedia the word.

It's a diamond. You, my dear, have just been schooled by your four year-old.

In the interest of fairness...it is also what she described. I guess. In my mind however, this will be remembered as an old-school smackdown. Advantage pre-schooler.

Headline from "Back to School" by Ace Frehley, 1989

Tryin' to find a reason to get outta my bed... everyday things

In my quest to figure out the things that make me happy on a daily basis, it's interesting for me to look at the “stuff” that brought me joy as a child versus what rings my bell now. I'm talking more about the little things here...not the obvious like the two of you boys. Here's a peek at now versus then.

THEN
Kiss - Man, was I hooked on these guys from about the age of 10 to 14. Something that was just for me that my parents could never understand. Cool.

Magic - Yup, your Dad was way into magic. Took lessons and everything. To this day I have one trick that still blows people's minds and makes them mad when I won't tell them how I do it.

Bubble gum - Wait a minute, all kids love bubble gum, right? Well...I took it to another level. I could tell you the differences between the three major brands Bubble Yum, Bubblicious and Hubba Bubba. I even had a business selling it at school. People would come to me to meet all their bubble gum needs.

Skateboards - It was all about skateboards growing up in So Cal.

Freakies - The greatest tree-living aliens cereal ever created.

NOW
Mornings at Starbucks - Starbucks has become my Zen garden. Gimme my Venti decaf nonfat no-whip mocha and an iPod and I'm set.

Theater room - Three years and I still love this room. Who needs the movie theater and their sticky floors when we have this.

iTunes - I've always been a music nut. But having a go-zillion songs at my fingertips? Where was this when I was thirteen?

iPhone - Again...where was this thirty years ago? Oh, yeah. Anyways, I can't imagine living without it now.

Punk rock - 43 and I still love it. I'll be the 80 year-old geriatric crowd surfing to Blitzkreig Bop.

Springsteen - See the post below. He's just The Man.

Sushi - Your dad can put this stuff away. Just yum. Gimme a spicy tuna hand roll soaked in wasabi soy sauce and I'm in heaven.

It's the little everyday things, boys. Find them, make time for them and enjoy.

Headline from "Everyday Things" by The Plimsouls, 1979

Ooo you make me live, You you're my best friend

Just a few of the things you boys enjoy doing with me at this stage of your lives....

Seth (aka Bug, Boy, Bubba, Pook, Big Man, Punk Rock)
- Having me make up stories at bedtimes. No Boy, those stories were not scripted.
- Debating which one of us is, in fact, Tootie Butt.
- Racing to see who can get undressed for a shower faster.
- Wrestling on Mommy & Daddy's bed.
- Telling really bad knock-knock jokes.
- Doing a knuckle-bump and then blowing it up. Cuz that's cool.
- Rockin' out to ska music in the car. You telling me to keep my hands on the wheel.
- Keeping secrets from Mommy...especially as it relates to donuts.
- Beating Daddy senseless with your Hulk hands. Or with your regular hands.
- Hearing me talk about when I was a boy. You listen mesmerized.

Sage (aka Monkey, Panda, Baby Bug, Little Man)
- Having me rub my head into your tummy as you laugh and laugh and laugh.
- Flying through the air as “Super Baby” and attacking your bro.
- Looking out the front door with me.
- Listening to me butcher Bob Marley songs.
- Drooling aaalllllll over my head when I lift you up on my shoulders.

Headline from "You're My Best Friend" by Queen, 1975

For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside, That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive.

While the majority of the writings here are words of wisdom for you boys, it is also an opportunity for me to share with you the importance that music has meant in my life. Music can be magical. It can take you to another place when you need it. It can make you happy when you feel down, or it can simply be a friend during those times sharing empathy with some of the most heartfelt lyrics ever written. There are artists who can do that better than others. For me, there is nothing quite like Bruce Springsteen. They call him “The Boss”.

With all of the rock star posturing that's out there, Bruce exemplifies the “everyman” attitude better than anyone before him. He just gets me. His words share what you are feeling. His songs give you hope. He is the voice of my generation.

I was a late convert to the music of Springsteen. In the mid-70's when it was all about Kiss and Cheap Trick, I thought Springsteen was a dinosaur already. It would take another ten years to start appreciating the gifts he had to offer me. One particularly memorable night for me was back when I was in college. I remember listening to Springsteen for about four hours straight after hearing that my best friend Eric's dad had been killed. I laid on the floor and thought about my relationship with my father and my own mortality. That night Bruce was there for me.

You will likely find your own music that speaks to you. It's hard to say what will be the “popular” music of your generation. I bet Springsteen stands the test of time though. Someday when you're feeling lonely put on “Nothing Man“. On a carefree Friday night put on ”Glory Days“. In a defiant mood? “Badlands.” Need some inspiration? ”No Surrender.“ When you have a son... ”My Hometown.“ See if he doesn't speak to you.

Headline from "Badlands" by Bruce Springsteen, 1978