And I am lost, and I can't even say why

Each day gets a little closer to normal life. The realization now that my business will survive and I will continue to be able to provide for my family is a reassurance that was missing four weeks ago. I'm still struggling to balance work, family, health and all of the many, many pressures of daily life. But I'm getting there. I think.

I want so much for you guys. Your success in life, however that is defined, is of utmost importance to me as I'm sure it is to your Mom. Sage...you got your second round of vaccinations yesterday and man, they hurt didn't they? Your pain is our pain. If I could take those shots for you I would without hesitating. Seth...my wise, oh so insightful, keep me on my toes, amazing son...you're trying hard to find your way. I see it. Keep working and you'll see incredible results. This world can be a challenging one. One that sometimes kicks you square in the teeth. But it can also afford you highs that make those occasional kicks tolerable. You have the world before you. Grab it. So few actually do.

I'm trying to grab it myself. I've never been one to settle. Settling is for the weak. Yes, my bar is set high. But I don't want to be the guy who accepts what life hands me. Nope. I'm taking what I can and reaching for what I'm told that I can't have. Don't let others define what you can have and what you cannot. They don't know what you're capable of and those statements come from their own fears.

Occasionally in life you both will feel lost. It's OK to feel this way as long as you keep your map open. (Maps are what we used to use to find our way before GPS.) You'll need to refer to it often to keep yourself on track. Don't lose sight of your destination. Many obstacles will try to block the path to your goals but obstacles are meant to be overcome. They are merely tests put before us to make sure we appreciate the destination once we get there.

Headline from "I Am, I Said" by Neil Diamond, 1971

Once you had a dream that you realized, but do you know what matters?

It's been a stressful couple of weeks as we await the arrival of Master Sage. Less than three weeks to go. Wow. Seems like we were just finding out about you and now you're almost here. Can't wait to meet you, my son. Your room is ready for you and I think the three of us...your mother, me, and your big bro are as prepared as we are going to get.

I'm looking forward to the small things...Seth sitting next to you on the couch explaining the interpersonal dynamics of the cast of Scooby-Doo, you falling asleep on my chest on the couch, and the look in your Mom's eyes when she holds you. You see, a lot of people think "things" are going to make them happy in life. A faster car, a bigger house, a better salary. But those things are just that. Things. They come and go in one's lifetime. But it's the stuff you can't actually buy that makes it so much more valuable. Never let the pursuit of the tangibles outweigh your attainment of the intangibles. You'll thank me for this advice one day. Until then, you'll still want "the toys". I guess you have me to thank for that as well.

Headline from "What Matters" by Matthew Sweet, 1999

Dreaming is Free

I don't know if most people that know your father would label me as a dreamer. You see, I tend to be rather a realist in my actions and in the way I present myself to others. But lying underneath this layer of pragmatism is someone who does in fact dare to dream. I guess it's part of my nature to strive for more in life and rather than being cynical about things that are out of my reach at this moment, I dream about the attainment and design the course to achieve whatever it is that I want. I don't want to be in a world without dreamers. Your dreams are what lead to your successes.

My life has been a series of successes, failures, challenges and dreams. As I learned to accept myself, failures and all, a funny thing happened along the way. My dreams started to become reality. Funny, that. I always wondered if I didn't have those dreams...would they have ever come true. I can't say for sure.

Dare to dream. It's what makes it fun to get out of bed each morning. And when you look around and see the faces of what is important to you...there will never be a question as to whether or not it was all worth it. It is.

Headline from "Dreaming" by Blondie, 1979

Honesty Is Hardly Ever Heard, And Mostly What I Need From You

The world today is very different from when I grew up...and it will likely be even more different when you boys become adults. It's hard not to become cynical and distrustful when it seems like everyone around you has an ulterior motive. Whatever happened to simply telling the truth? Why must everything be sensationalized nowadays? There was an old saying that "if it's in print, it must be true." Today this is a farce. Honesty is a lost trait in our society.

This does not however mean that it is OK to join the fray of liars, exaggeraters, snake oil salesmen, and sensationalists. Honesty is something that has become so rare, that it has become one of the most admirable qualities an individual can have.

Be honest with your family and they will respect you and value your words and actions. Be honest with your customers in business and they will come back again and again. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. Be true to what you believe and never allow the temptation to undermine who you are. If I can say that I raised two honest boys...I will know I did well.

Headline from "Honesty" by Billy Joel, 1978

No Retreat, Baby, No Surrender

Too many people allow life to lead them instead of them leading their life. Life does not always hand you what you want. It's a constant struggle to achieve what you want. This is not meant to be demoralizing. Quite the opposite actually, my young padawans. You can achieve ANYTHING you want in this world. Not always easily, but always achievable. In this country we are privileged to have unlimited opportunity. Never take this opportunity for granted because in many parts of the world opportunity does not exist. All the desire and determination can still leave you wondering where your next meal is coming from.

I've been told I set my bar too high. That means I set goals that are difficult to achieve. So? Who wants to bend down for a low bar anyway? Set your goals high my sons but allow yourselves to fall short sometimes. Without sometimes falling short, how can you know where to set your next bar? A quote I'll always remember is that if you don't fail sometimes, you aren't trying hard enough. There is nothing wrong with failing. Failing is a part of succeeding.

You boys have been given a huge gift. The gift of opportunity. Make the most of it in everything you do. You can achieve whatever it is you set your minds to. Just strive to be the best at whatever that is. I don't care if it's to be the best librarian or the best bowler or the best father...simply be the best you can. And you'll never regret a moment of your lives.

Headline from "No Surrender" by Bruce Springsteen, 1984